My story

At the age of 27, my therapist suggested that I might be autistic.

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I already knew quite a lot about autism, from studying brains and working in educational psychology. It wasn’t even the first time I’d thought about it in relation to me. The problem was, although a lot of parts fit, it didn’t 100% add up. I have lots of friends, a good career, I can have decent conversations. Sure, all those things can completely break me, but… I just don’t “seem” autistic enough. Whatever that means.

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Then I did some research into how autism often looks different in women. I heard people speak about how much energy they expend masking their autistic traits. About how manual that can make even basic conversations.

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It was like hearing someone read aloud from my brain.

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Everything suddenly made sense. All these seemingly unrelated threads actually fitted together perfectly. They explained my constant-and-previously-mysterious anxiety. The sensory issues, the desperate need for routine and predictability, the illness-inducing impact of other humans (no offence).

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In February 2021, I received a formal diagnosis. It has been a relief. It has also been a totally mind-boggling thing to discover at this point in my life. There is a lot to piece together. But it feels like I am slowly going from a tangled mess of non-descript anxiety to a nicely structured, and predictably anxious, person-shaped thing. Which is good.

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One thing I also found was a lack of practical advice for people diagnosed as adults. But I was experimenting with lots of things, and figuring out what works for me. So I started writing. And, with the help of some folks* who have been extremely generous with their time and incredible technical and creative skills... this is what that writing has turned into.

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Colour me autistic is a home for real-world experiences, coping strategies, and tips to help us make the most of our wonderfully peculiar brains.

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I have lots of my own content organised in My Toolkit as a starting point. But I am just one autistic person, with one set of strengths and difficulties. We have had some people kind enough to share their stories already, and I am always looking for other people to do the same! If you want to find out more, sign up to the Colour me autistic newsletter below, where you'll receive updates on any new content, and information on all the ways to get involved.

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Lauren x

 

*Special thanks to Ana and Rianne for creating the first version of this website!